logo
  • Jobs
  • About Me
  • Contact
  • Home

Archive for June, 2009

Chuck Norris: The Programmer

Saw this from codesqueeze earlier today… Hilarious stuff. :)

  1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
  2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
  3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
  4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
  5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
  6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
  7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
  8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
  9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
  10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).
  11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
  12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
  13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
  14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
  15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.
  16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
  17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.
  18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
  19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
  20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
  21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.
  22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
  23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
  24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
  25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”
1 Comment
flag
Favorite Charity
wounded warrior project
Search
Social
  • mattberther on twitter
  • mattberther on linkedin
Syndication
Archives
  • January 2010
  • September 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • March 2006
  • February 2006
  • January 2006
  • December 2005
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • April 2005
  • March 2005
  • February 2005
  • January 2005
  • December 2004
  • November 2004
  • October 2004
  • September 2004
  • August 2004
  • July 2004
  • June 2004
  • May 2004
  • April 2004
  • March 2004
  • February 2004
  • January 2004
  • December 2003
  • November 2003
  • October 2003
  • September 2003
  • August 2003
  • July 2003
  • June 2003
  • May 2003
  • April 2003
  • March 2003
mattberther.com © 2003 - 2010